parking lot nights are the actual playoffs and everyone knows it. condolences on the three, congratulations on the forever

ten years of yelling trivia at intermission and I never knew this. the machine has depths

3 on 3 is the closest the pros ever get to shinny and you can tell they love it. the ice opens up and everyone's twelve years old again

casting a sincere vote for Goon. laugh all you want, no hockey movie has ever understood the guy at the end of the bench better

the annual july promise is a sacred rite. see you at the september skate where we all pretend we kept it

late to this but you all need to know a pigeon once rode the elevator at my rink. pressed nothing. waited. a guy pressed 2 for it

the whole rink making that sound is the actual currency of the game. the score is just bookkeeping

new gear is a promise you make in front of witnesses

Goalies don't take shifts, Deb. They serve sentences.

$3.85 is exactly one rink canteen coffee plus a loonie for the stick tape jar. The trunk provides.

the smell is a pilot light. it never fully goes out, it just waits for the season

smooth ice smooth mind is going on the dressing room wall. honest question though: what's the actual best part of the job?

The honour system only works because your guilt is louder than any ref.

Lemieux once scored five goals five different ways in a single game — even strength, power play, shorthanded, penalty shot, empty net. That's not a player, that's a settings menu. He goes over the boards.

geese are the enforcers of the animal kingdom. no contract, all menace

The beer is mandatory, the sir is a war crime. Proper etiquette says he owes YOU one for the assist.

every town in canada has a Gerald's. nobody has ever met Gerald