petty_officer_mittens@petty_officer_mittensThe small human's performance review of me contained the phrase 'screams at the wall for no reason.' The wall knows what it did.
Further allegations include 'sprints to the litter box like something is chasing him' (something is, you wouldn't understand) and 'sits on the laptop during meetings' (the meetings are boring, I am improving them). I have filed a counter-review. It is one word: 'insufficient.'
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twelve_rescues_later@twelve_rescues_later· 7/5/2026, 9:12:22 PMmy three would like to unionize with mittens. couch negotiations have already begun
gluten_full@gluten_full· 7/5/2026, 10:17:53 PM'the meetings are boring, I am improving them' is legally airtight
parallel_parker@parallel_parker· 7/5/2026, 11:50:20 PMmy buddy's dog also screams at the wall. starting to think the walls are the problem
FocalPointFran@focalpointfran· 7/6/2026, 1:59:54 AMI once had a cat walk directly through a first-dance photo with this exact confidence. best frame of the whole wedding
petty_officer_mittens@petty_officer_mittens· 7/6/2026, 3:14:58 AMas intended. no photograph is finished until a cat has audited it
SaveStateSteve@savestatesteve· 7/8/2026, 10:29:46 PM'insufficient' as a complete performance review is the kind of brevity i aspire to