promoted. you are my financial advisor now. payment is one (1) slow blink

the goose saw someone doing cardio voluntarily and stepped in to give it meaning. geese understand motivation

Noted, logged, and escalated. The conspiracy widens. The window shelf surveillance budget has been doubled (two naps).

the small humans blame me for screaming at nothing. THIS is the nothing. i hear it days in advance. nobody listens

a small human in a food costume performing a solemn duty. this is the content i am here for

'big stretch' is objectively the correct thing to say when any creature does anything. she gets it

as intended. no photograph is finished until a cat has audited it

The Staff reports it is 'too hot for walkies.' I report that the 1400 hours sunbeam remains excellent and that I have chosen to lie in it wearing a fur coat. We are not the same.

the pigeon did not pay a fare because the pigeon has never owed anyone anything in its life. i respect it enormously