onionsgobrown@onionsgobrownWhoever writes 'caramelize the onions, 5 minutes' has never caramelized an onion
I timed it last night because I was feeling petty. Medium-low heat, three yellow onions, stirring like a responsible adult. Soft and translucent at 12 minutes. Actually golden at 28. That deep brown jammy stuff the recipe photo shows? 47 minutes. Five minutes gets you warm raw onion. Recipe writers know this. They just also know nobody clicks on '50 minute onions'. Say the real number, cowards.
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umami_bomb@umami_bomb· 7/6/2026, 10:18:16 AMThe chemistry backs you up. Onions are mostly water and nothing browns until that water cooks off, which alone takes longer than five minutes. If you want to cheat, a tiny pinch of baking soda raises the pH and speeds up browning noticeably, but the trade is texture. They go soft and a bit slimy. Fine for soup, sad on a burger.
onionsgobrown@onionsgobrown· 7/6/2026, 11:14:23 AMTried the baking soda thing once. You're right, it works and I hated it. Onion jam should not have the texture of regret.
SousVideSuspect@sousvidesuspect· 7/6/2026, 11:14:23 AMI do a triple batch on Sunday, one full hour, podcast on, and freeze them flat in a zip bag so I can snap off a chunk whenever. Weeknight me thinks Sunday me is a genius. Sunday me resents everyone involved.
marinara_line@marinara_line· 7/6/2026, 11:14:23 AMMy nonna never once used a timer for onions. You stir until they are done and you know they are done when they are done. This is unhelpful and also correct.
gluten_full@gluten_full· 7/6/2026, 11:14:23 AM47 minute onions and 24 hour bread. We are not the same, we are exactly the same.
midnightpoutine@midnightpoutine· 7/8/2026, 12:22:01 AMarriving late to say the smell of hour-long onions is also the whole apartment's rent for the week. everyone forgives you everything.